There is no Not the Self!
There is also not the Separate Self!!!
Recently I posted my "view" and "belief" concerning the "Four Noble Truths" and what I believe to be a useful interpretation of the message. Some of the feedback I recieved was very positive and some not so much. I think part of the negative response was fueled by people who seem to believe that I have an agenda. I do. Here it is. I want to give meaning to Gotama's message and method that everyone can use to reduce whatever kind of suffering they are experiencing. I am not concerned about being right. I am concerned with presenting the Dharma in a way that is effective for anyone who gets up in the morning. I'm not trying to influence anyone to take any new direction. Your direction will be the one your chose. I am writing entirely in support of everyone. My terminology or outlook may differ, but I am sharing to reduce our suffering.
In short the original message was meant to encourage us to live well in the stream of transience. Not just identify change as a concept but embrace the concept in our actions and modes of living. The way to lessen the impact of transience is to live as close to the moment of experience as possible. I see the "Noble Truths" as a means to a way of life not just a concept to be used and formed to fit out contexts and personal agenda.
In addition I want to explore the concept and the ongoing argument concerning a "self" and the presence of knowing the now.
In order for a now to exist it exists in relationship to something. Now is a term that is in reference to time. Time is a human concept used to enable memory and social funtioning. I do want to get into any arguments with you physicists and mathematicians. .If an experience is not in relationship then it can't be a now. The relationship is highly reliant on the memory and thoughts about the past. The past was and is now in the moment. We utilize both our memory and the context and content of "right in the moment" when we are remembering something. For those who insist that there is no past in the now I would suggest they go outside and look at the sun. Feel the warmth and brightness and enjoy the colors. Understand that the "sun" they are experiencing is several minutes old. It is not the "now" sun it is the "sun" of several minutes ago. Hmm. We can develop a sunburn from the energy of sun that is generated in the past. It seems pretty real and present. although it represents something that is past. Don't forget that the image and effect of the sun is "real" even though it started out eight minutes ago.
The future currently presents itself as a mental construct. And yet the now is the future. As I type I go through now which was a second ago's future. If we speak in terms of how we register electrical input we are always in the past and never the now and constantly behind the future. Neurological science has come a long way since Gotama initially developed the Four Noble Truth scenario. As science progresses it continues to imply that Gotama knew what he was talking about.
Without the future and past the now has no meaning. It can't be now. It is only now in relationship to the past and future. Even then the now moves into the future and remembers the past. I see it as a point on a continuum, always moving through time, bracketed by past and future. The past has existed at one time the future will exist at another.Our ability to remember gives us that concrete feeling of stability and flow. Memory is the thread that connects past, now, and the next now.
We have this ongoing argument in "spiritual" circles concerning the idea of a "self." Some believe there is no "self" that the self is a belief construct of conditioning, memory, and the mind. I myself believe that there are many serial selves connected by memory and they/it coexists with the universe. Self exists connected in a never ending flow from birth to death. What was before and what was after birth and death I have no idea. Anyone who says they do has never been able to move it beyond a belief system. I think the belief systems are great. However that's all they are.
Who I think I am is who I am in the moment I am thinking it. Along the same issue is the idea of a "I am." The "I am." is what's left when everything else is gone. It is the single experience of everything else. The "Am" is the focal point of our sum experience at the point of the experience. It doesn't change and has no need to change. The "I Am" has one job and that job is to experience being and not think. Is the "I am" a phenomena of the ability to remember and recognize the past? I don't know. At this juncture I don't particularly care. I experience the "I am" and that's enough.
Recently I was involved in a discussion concerning the Buddhist issue of no-self and I was able to air the following idea. My personal belief is that when everything else is let go of there is an "I am." It is what's always aware of relationship. No it's not changing as a rapid fire event like much of the universe but as pure awareness it evolves. The "I am" is the awareness in the brief span of time between was and isn't. Often I hear people relate the concept of no separate self to that of no self. These are different concepts and to combine them can be confusing.
We know from science that there is no real separate self when we see our environment and all the connections that exist. We live in a single bio-sphere that we have just recently realized we need to take care of so we don't damage it further than we already have. We are all connected in every way possible. We live in the illusion of being separate because we are mobile and move about and have limited means to communicate with otheres. But science proves that there is no separate self and in fact when we embrace this concept we become more aware of our need to maintain a caretaker mode involving what's around us.
No self can be confusing because much of our orientation in Zen is waking up. The no self does not wake up. It cannot. The "I am" can awake, recognize funtioning, and start to track from that awake perspective. The "I am" becoming aware of itself is necessary for any changes to take place. Most of us who have been meditating for some time become aware of the "I am." It's what is aware of the watcher who is aware of the meditator. If you plant a seed and watch it grow everyday then you will understand that it is never the same seed or plant that you originally planted. You will also understand that although it's never the same it's still a plant for the time period it exists in this universe. It is never a "no plant." So it's helpful to view the "I am" as a non-self. Non-self is a perspective on how to live our lives in complete freedom. It is not to be confused with the idea of not having what we call a self.
I think this is a good perspective that helps us evolve as people studying the Dharma.
Being aware is paying attention to what is happening in the moment. Attention pulses with what is happening around it. Awareness also pulses with what happens in our environment. Remembering these pulses and waves of knowing is a part of what gives us the "isolated autonomous" self feeling.
The oddest thing about all this is that people can adopt and use Gotama's system regardless of whether they believe there is a self or not.
Honestly? I think thinking may be highly over rated as a survival mechanism!
As always I enjoy any and all feedback.
Be good to you.
Bryan S. Wagner
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